Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses a halacha that one is not permitted to sell a cloak with ritual fringes to a gentile until he unties and removes its tzitzis.

The Gemara offers two reasons. The most notable is as follows: “There is a concern that the gentile who wears these tzitzis will visit a prostitute.”

Rabbenu Gershom and one opinion in Rashi explain that the prostitute would then slander Jews, claiming that a falsely pious person engaged with her as she saw the tzitzis as proof. Another opinion in Rashi maintains that the concern was to protect a Jewish prostitute. According to Rashi, Jewish prostitutes were discerning and limiting in their sin, engaging only with Jewish men. This gentile wearing tzitzis could pose as a Jew and mislead this “righteous” prostitute.

This peshat in Rashi presupposes a degree of normalization of Jewish prostitution. After all, the rabbis would not enact a decree regarding an extremely rare phenomenon (Beitzah 2b). There are other Gemaras that also seem to accept as a reality that the world’s oldest profession has some correspondence with the world’s oldest religion.

The Gemara (Avodah Zara 63a) discusses the prostitute in the prohibition of esnan zonah (Devarim 23:19). On Amud Aleph it debates whether the zonah in question is Jewish or gentile. Later, at the end of 69b–70a, there is even a discussion of Jewish men dining with a prostitute, maintaining that the wine might still be kosher, since although they have a yetzer hara for promiscuity, they will still be careful with yeyn nesech. This invites a deeper question: why does the Torah devote attention to the esnan prohibition when the act itself is already forbidden?

Sex with a prostitute is prohibited (Rambam, Ishus 4:1; Shulchan Aruch EH 26:1). Even the Ra’avad, who allows a pilegesh, draws a sharp line between a committed relationship and indiscriminate relations. Yet the Torah discusses prostitution matter-of-factly, as if its existence is assumed.

The incident with Yehudah and Tamar (Bereishis 38) is instructive. Rambam notes that this was before Sinai, when such conduct was not yet prohibited. Still, our tradition holds that the Avos—and even the Shevatim—voluntarily observed much of the Torah beforehand (Yoma 28b; Chulin 91a).

This raises the broader issue of “normalized” sins. History shows prostitution in virtually every society. By contrast, l’shon hara—potentially violating dozens of prohibitions and commandments (as the Chofetz Chaim details in Sefer Shemiras Halashon)—is far more common than eating non-kosher, yet most people take it less seriously. Some sins are tolerated socially not because they are minor, but because the human drive behind them is so strong.

The Gemara (Bava Basra 164a) and Rambam (Issurei Biah 22:18–21) acknowledge this:

There is nothing in the entire Torah that is more difficult for the majority of people to separate themselves from than sexual misconduct and forbidden sexual intercourse. Our Sages said: When the Jews were commanded regarding forbidden sexual conduct, they wept and accepted this mitzvah with complaints and tears, as implied by the phrase “crying among their families,” [interpreted as] “crying about family matters.”

Our Sages said: A person’s soul desires and craves theft and forbidden sexual relations. You will never find a community that does not have some people who are promiscuous regarding forbidden conduct and prohibited sexual intercourse. Moreover, our Sages said: Most people trespass with regard to theft; a minority with regard to forbidden sexual conduct; and all with regard to the avak of l’shon hara.

Therefore, it is proper for a person to subjugate his natural inclination in this matter and train himself in extra holiness, pure thought, and proper character traits so that he will be guarded against them.

He should be very careful about entering into privacy with a woman, for this is a great cause of transgression. Our great Sages would tell their students: “Watch me because of my daughter,” “Watch me because of my daughter-in-law,” in order to teach them not to be embarrassed about such matters and to distance themselves from entering into privacy with women.

Similarly, a person should distance himself from levity, intoxication, and erotic words, for these are great precipitators and steps leading to forbidden relations.

A man should not live without a wife, for this leads to great purity. And our Sages gave even greater advice, saying: “A person should always turn himself and his thoughts to the words of the Torah and expand his knowledge in wisdom, for thoughts of forbidden relations grow strong solely in a heart that is empty of wisdom.” And in the words of Shlomo (Mishlei 5:19): “It is a beloved hind, arousing favor. Her breasts will satisfy you at all times; you shall be obsessed with her love.”

While the Rambam’s timeless words speak for themselves (and I was careful to translate them with precision), several points stand out. Rambam describes two different categories of forbidden sexual behavior: “sexual misconduct” (arayos) and “sexual intercourse” (bios assuros). This shows an important nuance: the problem is not merely acts that are forbidden due to flagrant violations, but also sexual conduct that is inappropriate.

Furthermore, Rambam states that sexual thoughts are more easily encountered in a heart that is empty of wisdom. Torah is the antidote. But we must be realistic. We know of people—and in recent times, sadly, even famous rabbis—who engaged in unacceptable and inappropriate sexual violations. How do we account for that? The answer is that if a person is open to growth and is fundamentally good, Torah indeed has a positive impact. However, if a person is closed off and rationalizing his behavior, there is no subtle spiritual force that can arouse him to the truth.

Finally, Rambam praises Sages who were candid about their temptations (“Watch me because of my daughter”), teaching that acknowledging vulnerability is itself protective. This is why the normalization of protective measures—such as internet filters promoted by TAG—is valuable: it removes the shame from admitting the need for safeguards.

Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation

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Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, LMFT, DHL is a psychotherapist who works with high conflict couples and families. He can be reached via email at simchafeuerman@gmail.com