Psycho-Spiritual Insights: Exploring Parasha and Psychology

Anyone with in-laws can relate to this week’s Parsha. Parshat Yitro introduces one of the rare moments in the Torah where Moshe Rabeynu receives direct criticism, not from Hashem, but from his father-in-law. Parshat Yitro presents a pivotal moment in the story of Bnei’s Yisrael’s acceptance of the Torah. Moshe Rabeynu’s father-in-law, Yitro, visits him and offers wise counsel on leadership and delegation. Drawing on the psychological concept of barriers to delegation, we can explore valuable insights from Yitro's advice.

Moshe Rabeynu is sitting day and night, holding court for Bnei Yisrael who wait in line solely to speak with him. In watching this occurrence, Yitro tells Moshe Rabeynu, “The thing you are doing is not right.” “Navol tibbol gam-attah gam-ha'am hazzeh asher immach ki-chaved mimmecha haddavar lo-tuchal asohu levaddecha - you will surely wear yourself out, and these people as well, for the task is too heavy for you; you cannot do it alone,” (Exodus 18:17-24). The Or HaChaim writes that the word Navol is repeated because it has two meanings, with Yitro warning Moshe Rabeynu that if he continued this course at first he would be slightly weary but eventually he would burnout. The Kli Yakar notes that navol is related to the word neveilah, something that still exists physically but has lost its vitality. A leader can remain standing, functioning, and even revered, while internally depleted. Yitro suggested to Moshe Rabeynu a lesson that echos through history, to effectively operate, we must know when to delegate.

Modern research echoes this Torah insight. A large study of healthcare leaders found that those who delegated responsibilities experienced significantly lower rates of burnout than those who attempted to manage everything themselves. Burnout was linked not merely to long hours, but to the concentration of responsibility in one individual. What Yitro warned Moshe Rabeynu about thousands of years ago, that carrying everything alone would erode vitality, is now measurable in contemporary leadership research.

The Ibn Ezra writes that Yitro was telling Moshe Rabeynu not only would he burnout, but it was irresponsible for him to undergo such a strain and cause others the strain of waiting all day to speak with him. The Midrash further writes that the word Navol is a euphemism for a leaf wilting on the vine. Yitro suggests appointing capable leaders to assist Moshe Rabeynu in judging and resolving disputes among the people.

Yitro’s advice reflects the recognition that leaders cannot handle all responsibilities alone and that sharing the workload with capable individuals can lead to more efficient and just decision-making. This concept is relevant in psychology, emphasizing the benefits of delegation and collaboration for better outcomes. According to the book Outperform for Leaders, delegation is a critical and often vastly missing skill among leaders. In a 2017 study on time management, almost half of 332 companies surveyed were concerned about their employees’ ability to delegate. According to Harvard Business Review, a tell-tale sign that you’re beginning to resist delegation is if you find yourself working long hours and feeling that no one else at work or the family could do what you do.

Chazal frame this not as a logistical insight, but as wisdom itself. Mishlei teaches, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls; but in an abundance of counselors there is safety” (Mishlei 11:14). The Malbim explains that true wisdom is not knowing all the answers, but recognizing when a challenge exceeds the capacity of one mind or one person. Yitro was not diminishing Moshe Rabeynu’s greatness, he was naming it. A chacham lev is someone who knows his limits and structures leadership accordingly. Delegation, in this sense, is not a concession to weakness, but an expression of insight.

For many of us, the problem isn’t that we don’t understand the importance of delegation. Instead, we can’t get around the psychological barriers that keep us from delegating such as: perfectionism, not wanting to bother others, or feeling it wont be done correctly. The concept of effective delegation and distributed leadership from Parshat Yitro can be applied to individuals and families in various ways:

1. Shared Responsibilities in Families:
2. Families can benefit from distributing responsibilities amongst each other based on their strengths and capabilities.
3. Balancing Work and Personal Life:
4. Individuals can apply the concept to balance their professional and personal lives effectively, helping manage time more efficiently and reduce stress.
5. Support Systems:
6. Individuals facing challenges or decisions can benefit from seeking advice and support from others, just as Moshe Rabeynu sought advice from Yitro by creating a support system for counsel.

Kohelet teaches, “Two are better than one… for if one falls, the other can lift him” (Kohelet 4:9–10). Rav Dessler explains that human strength comes not from self-sufficiency, but from interdependence. In families, resistance to delegation often masquerades as responsibility, “I’ll just do it myself.” But over time, this deprives others of growth and burdens one person with unsustainable emotional weight. Just as Moshe Rabeynu created a system that allowed others to step into leadership, healthy families function best when responsibilities are shared, trust is extended, and no one person carries the entire load.

Parshat Yitro reminds us that wisdom is knowing our limits, responsibility includes protecting our vitality, and strength. Whether in leadership, family, or community, comes not from doing everything ourselves, but from building systems that allow others to rise.